7 Ways to Cope with Baby Daddy Hurt
Hi, friends. If you haven't listened to this week's podcast, please do so here.
Look, baby daddy hurt is real. It's just as bad as daddy/mommy issues or any other form of hurt we know about. Because you're already publicly shamed for having a baby without the benefit of married parents, you don't always feel empowered to talk about this hurt. This is why I do what I do. You're not alone, you're not the first and you shall not be the last. I'm not nearly in a place where my situation is ideal, but I do have some tips and tricks that have been helpful.
1. Get In Therapy - Everybody needs to woosah. This type of hurt requires a professional. Do not take it lightly and don't think you can deal with this on your own. You need some real tools from an unbiased party to help you deal with your emotions and put them in perspective. This will help you be your best self in spite of your circumstances and that, dear friends, is the goal.
2. Don't Take it Personal - Most of the time people treat you like trash because they're unhappy with themselves. They're already fighting a battle that has absolutely nothing to do with you. Don't allow them being difficult or antagonizing to take you to a negative space. It's not always about you. Pray they learn to deal with their issues. Take it one step further and make it about you in a way that teaches you a lesson.
Free Lesson: Don't have kids with folks who shouldn't have made it past hello (talking to myself).
3. Focus on Yourself - Just because you're a mom it doesn't mean that has to consume your identity. You should still have goals and pursue things that you enjoy. Get a hobby, go on a vacation, spend time with your friends when you don't have your kids. I know it's hard because as moms, we tend to put so much energy and effort into our children that we forget who we are. Don't.
4. Find a Co-Parenting Class - Not everybody wants to be dysfunctional. If the two parties are committed to healthy dynamics, sign up for a co-parenting class. Take it in and learn how to communicate effectively. It may seem like a lot and it may be a sacrifice for one of the parties, but your kids will thank you!
5. STICK TO THE PLAN - Whatever y'all agree to, stick to it. Don't take advantage of the other parent's kindness to force your way. Don't skip out on your weekends to go get drunk with the homies. Don't be difficult on purpose. If you have a problem with something concerning your child, be prepared to suggest a solution that everyone can deal with.
6. Make Healthy Relationships A Priority - Don't give up on healthy co-parenting. At some point the two parties have to realize that since you have a child together you are forever connected so you might as well do your best to get along. Both parents will eventually move on and you don't want to carry the drama into a new relationship. You should be encouraging potential stepparents to have a healthy dynamic with the other parent.
7. Treat People How You Want to be Treated - It's really simple. If you don't want discourse and foolery don't bring it to anyone else. This is not limited to baby daddies and baby mamas and can be applied to any area of life, especially dealing with difficult people.
Your FAVORITE Baby Mama,